Dec 20, 2006

Hump Day Humor

Inflation at the wholesale level surged by the largest amount in more than three decades in November, reflecting higher prices for gasoline and a host of other items. Americans aren't worried -- they fully plan to emerge from bankruptcy as soon as they receive all those mail-in rebates.
Of course, they're counting on getting the rebates before they change identities to avoid paying off the credit cards. Hey, in America, timing is everything. (HaBlog)

This week a top general at the Pentagon said the War on Terror could take a 100 years to fight. President Bush was furious about the 100-year prediction and said, "Stop setting a fixed timetable." (Conan O'Brien)

President George W. Bush attempted to build support for the increasingly unpopular war in Iraq today, arguing that Iraq is now “the main front in the war on gay marriage.” (

Donald Trump will let Miss USA keep her title. In return, Tara Conner promises to check into rehab and never throw up on The Donald's hair again. (HaBlog)

Rolling Stone Magazine named Bob Dylan's "Modern Times" Best Album of 2006. It's a good album. Bob Dylan still sings down his nose -- but his nose has matured. (Toms Lake Humor Company)

You know, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a new ‘Rocky’ film opening. Listen to this, the President knew about it and failed to act in time. (David Letterman)

Rosie O'Donnell apologized to Asian-Americans for mocking the Chinese language on "The View" It hasn't stopped her from working. Next week she's doing a holiday special with Michael Richards and Mel Gibson called "A David Duke Christmas." (comedian Argus Hamilton)

A study says Americans spend more time watching TV, listening to the radio, reading newspapers and getting online than anything else but breathing. Experts were shocked. Americans do something more than eat? (Jim Barach)

"Time” magazine has come out with its person of the year. It’s you. It’s everyone. This year it is everyone. My question though – if we are all the person of the year why should we have to pay $4.95 for a copy? Shouldn’t we all be given a copy for free? (Jay Leno)