Oct 4, 2006

Hump Day Humor

Iraq's Prime Minister presented a peace plan on Monday. The White House said, "What's a peace plan?" "If it's like a stay-the-course plan we already have one.." (HaBlog)

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said she cannot recall then-CIA chief George Tenet warning her of an impending al-Qaida attack in the U.S. in 2001 before 9-11. That's one of the assets President Bush likes most about Rice -- her memory. The President said, "Condi, I love your memory." She said, "What memory?" He said, "Forget it." (HaBlog)

As the New York Times noted, Condoleezza Rice is the president's closest adviser on foreign policy matters, so close in fact she can even sometimes finish his sentences -- which makes one of them. (Jon Stewart)

The Senate has passed a bill to build a 700 mile fence on our 2,000 mile border. After that the Senate plan to end global warming by telling Eva Langoria to stop being so darn hot. (comedy writer Alex Kaseberg)

Saudi Arabia is going ahead with plans to build a fence along its five-hundred-mile border with Iraq. Apparently, illegal immigration is getting out of control -- last week 20 Iraqis crossed the border on only one camel. (Pedro Bartes)

The Supreme Court will hear its first case concerning Global Warming. That's bad news for industry. Most judges are so old, they remember the last ice age. (Jim Barach)

Starbucks is raising the price of a cup of coffee to $5.00. Don’t worry, you’ll still get the sneer from the girl with a nose ring serving your coffee. After hearing this, President Bush said this is why we must drill for domestic coffee. (Jay Leno)

Singer Avril Lavigne has apologized for spitting at the paparazzi last week in Los Angeles. Apparently, she missed. (HaBlog)