Jul 24, 2005

Well Actually, He Writes Subway

Dear Subway Sandwich,

Tonight you were amazing, the way you re-invented yourself with each bite that I devoured. Your soft, supple outer layer, stuffed with a spicy Italian inner goodness that was only heard of via daily commercials and word of mouth. But it was my mouth, which had been intruded upon by countless PB&J's and turkey sandwiches, that ultimately experienced edible heaven that was so gently hugged by a gentle giant, known as Monterey Cheddar Bread. With every delectable bite, I closed my eyes and focused on the whirlwind of emotions that my taste buds were so gloriously experiencing, and I dreamt of a better day when this extraordinary circumstance could become a daily routine. But unfortunately, my name is not Jerrod and I don't have an oversized belly or wallet, which the media has depicted as necessities to enjoy daily encounters with you and your troop of green polo partners. So for now, I will have to settle for occasionally satisfying undeniable and well deserved cravings for your meaty treasures covered in a supportive breaded delight.

Your's Truly,

Ryan Montague
Professional Plate Cleaner

P.S. - Please remind your maker in the Verde Visor that black olives cost practically nothing, so lets try not to be so f-ing stingy.

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